It is Wednesday, August 16, 2023 and to be exact I’ve been in solitary confinment known as Restrictive housing 10 years in 10 months I got into solitary confinment when I was 16 years old almost 17 years old back in October 2012 I am now 27 almost 28. At first when it first happen to me when I got placed into a cell I was like oh well until I fully understood the concept of the situation that I wasn’t coming out for awhile and I couldn’t talk to to many people other than the people who where in the cells around me and that I was only able to go to Rec 1hr day and to the shower. I was ok like I said at first then I started getting older but I was still younger to so I got bored and I want some attention from somebody I wanted to talk to somebody not in a cell I wanted to play I wanted contact so I started acting out getting out to use of forces so somebody can jump on me almost if we where playing like wrestleling it was fun until that started to get boring then I became depressed, angry, suicidal, all at once I was like surely this is not my life so I starting tying things around my neck cause I ended up with freeworld charges more time in prison because of my bordoem getting the best of me and got mad when the officers starting hurting me for real I caught my first free world charge when I was 17 for throwing water out of the cells on the officers it tested as urine it happen multiple times I ended up with 4 free world charges the first 3 times they lied on me it was water I swear on my life it was but the last unfortunaly it was feces as I had done started playing in my feces I had lost my mind for a while I was always in my feces. my family had then died my Granny was my everything when she died I was hurt I was like what am I going to do my momma and daddy forgot about me. I said you know what I’m in this cell the warden told me when I was 17 my whole life is in a cell I ain’t got nobody I might as well just kill myself and right when I was about to do it somebody spoke to me in spirit and I knew it was God cause he said I Love you I cried I cried and I praise and worship God. But they’re are times I fall back into the devils trap in I cut and hurt myself for periods of times. My dad came back only to leave agin my mom did the same I feel sick agin but I’m hanging in there cause I know God he said that although my mother and father forsake he will never leave me nor forsake me. But sometimes it gets hard especially when you have time to think to much and you start to travel down memory line sometimes it’s fun sometimes it’s very sad and it gets to hard and you just break down crying especially when it gets cold or a storm is coming and you feel the pains I hate this one pain I got into a use of force and they dislocated my arm I screamed I cried out why it hurts I wasn’t fighting anymore I just wouldn’t give them my arm and when they got it they all pulled on it and every direction and it pop 3 times oh man and it hurted. The way they do us down here is horrible at times we barely go to rec cause don’t nobody come to work or at least that’s what they say we can never get a hot meal we barely take showers I still don’t have an education although I would like one but no one cares. Oh so many youngins have committed suicide I remember seeing this one girl she had just turned 19 and a few days later she committed suicide it was awful I never wanted to witness that agin but I did.