I’ve been in Ad Seg since 1993 till present time. I am currently in a program called Mental Health therapeutic Diversion Program that is supose to help me with Mental illnesses and effects caused by being in prolong isolation from being in Ad Seg so long; But I’m in worse conditions than Ad Seg, including prolong isolation. I’m still under Ad Seg conditions. Things that are different from Ad Seg (when I first got to this program in 2,018) were T.V.s (But TV’s were taken away from dayroom in oct. 2,019) and counseling classes once a week for one Hour; But I graduated the program in April 2019 and no more counseling classes after that. They were supose to start CMI classes for graduates, they did start but only ran about 5 classes in 2,019 and stopped running them because short of staff. Basicly everything else is the same As Ad Seg. Single recreation, handcuffed everytime I leave my cell, single cell - etc...Since I’ve Been in this program I’ve been in cell alone 24 Hrs a day 23 days out of each Month on average. That’s including visit, classes, and recreation. It has Been about the same in Ad Seg from about 2,010 till present time. Since that time they have been short of staff, and that has been the main reason they’ve been using to not run recreation, shower, or classes. This is the worse place I’ve been at. Everything that could be wrong is wrong: the food is always cold, small portions, something is always spoiled, trays are not properly cleaned, they don’t use gloves or hair nets when feeding, give milk about twice a month; they serve us samething almost every day; pancakes, cornbread, noodles, potatoes and grits. Most of the time they are short of staff there for cancelling recreation and showers, and classes. Laundry Every 3-days exchange of clean boxers, sox, and Towells; cells leak water everytime it rains and from pipe chase: Hard to get anything fixed when they break which is often: Toilet, light, sink, leaks, power out lit. It’s always cold in winter, Hot in summer. Exhaust vents don’t work which makes it extremely Humid: smoke, chemical agents, Human waiste, smells stay longer in our cell. Someone is always lighting fires officers just let it burn out, never check for health problem caused by fire/smoke. They dont follow fire drill protocol. Its hard to get Medical attention especially on emergancies. I’ve had about 20 seizures since I’ve been here (3-2018) and they’ve only pulled me out twice to medical to get treatment. Officers are not properly trained to run the regular operations of this program nor to deal with mentally ill people officers do what they want to do Administration allow them to mistreat us and Abuse us and not disciplining them for violations they commit. grievance cooridnator loses grievances and inaproprietly denies grievances to be processed. Medical does not do its daily Medical round checks Mental health denies us one on one counseling, and docter patient confidentiality. Comissary is always out of stock of the main things, there’s a limit on everything. Mail is always late 10-30 days late from postmark, mail is lost a lot; It is always filthy/dirty in dayrooms, outside recreation yard, and run ways. Its infested with Rats, Roaches, Ants, Spiders. There is alot more that is wrong with this place I could go on and on on this. I would Rather be anywhere else than here even in an old red brick unit like Wynne unit where I was at for 18 yrs. I was put in this program with the help of My friends Liliane and Stacie, Two friends that strated writing to me from a story they read about me in Solitary Watch. They both called to unit and spoke with warden about Mental illnesses I was suffering from, bad conditions I was in. That’s How I was sent to this program. I still have alot of struggles with Mental illnesses at the present time. I believe I could get better with a better environment, betty counseling and therapy that I’m not receiving in here. The only thing I’m receiving for My Mental illnesses is Medication that most of the time doesn’t work/help. I think its because Im all day in my cell and the poor conditions of this building I sleep about 15 hours a day. Any simple task causes me to get tired and go to sleep. I cry alot sometimes to don’t know why I’m crying. I get bad panich attacks when I’m around people in a crowd-when I on chain in a buss full of other inmates-,if I’m in a room with a crowd. There has been several times where officers escort me into a Room full of officers, and once door is closed I started to cry. I also panich, get anxiety when socilizing, especially with people I don’t know. I’m always paranoid and suspicious of people especially gaurds and people that work in TDCJ, Docters, nurses, counselors etc….I get a strong sense that they are trying to harm me. I hear voices but they are not bad all the time, when they are I start to cry and feeling bad. I struggle to keep a conversation with someone. Can’t keep up with what they are saying and hard for me to think what to say. I get stressed out when people talk to me or when I try to talk. Its hard for me to have a conversation in person. Have lost alot of friends because of this difficuty. They think I don’t want to be friends. When I’m awake, it’s hard for me to stand still or focus on something for certain amount of time. Only Two Things I could focus without getting tired or fall asleep is Read and watch T.V. I can’t sit for over 20 minutes or my lower back and sides of my waist start to hurt bad. I think thats from sitting on floor too long for about 18 yrs at Wynne Unit, had no table and chair to write or do my arts and crafts etc..Had to use bottom bunk as table and sit on floor to write and do art. I’m very jump, any kind of noise, or people moving too fast causes me to freak out and have a panick attack. I Hallucinate. Hear voices, see things and people that others don’t see, and that cause me to cry, get mad, paranoid or get panick attack. Sometimes I could Tell what is real and what’s not. I believe most of is real, especially the things that have to do with my Medical problems in the past, My letters getting lost, officers trying to hurt me or take my life for complaints and grievances I’ve filed in the past. I still struggle to keep my cell clean and my self clean groomed. That is how I am at the present time. If I were to come out of prison right now, I would have to be put in a state hospital because my condition is still bad and I can’t take care of myself in here much less out there with adjusting to life of everyday Living out there. There was a time when my condition was worse, before I got here. I didn’t communicate with anyone at all or came out of my cell for anything. I can’t remember much of that time or exactly how long I was like that. (between 2,013-2,018) Friends that have known me for a while and that were around me were making complaints for me to get some help. After awhile of that not working, one of my friends Reagan wrote a story about me in my name to Solitary Watch. People that read that story started to write to me. It was when I met Liliane (2,017) from Switzerland. She came to visit me saw how bad my condition was at visit couldn’t stop crying and it was hard for me to talk. She made complaints for me to get Treatment. That was the only way to get medication even though I had obvious signs of mental illness and have a history with mental illness. In Ad Seg it’s extremely hard to receive mental health services/Treatment, especially harder when we don’t have outside help from family and friends to make complaints, which I didn’t have until I met Liliane. Now that I’ve been identified as a person with mental illnesses I can’t get proper treatment to make me well in this program. Because of short of staff I can’t get physical therapy, occupational therapy, TV therapy, one on one counseling therapy, group class therapy - all things I’m supose to be getting, but do not get because of short of staff. I believe I would never had gotten this bad if I wasn’t kept in Ad Seg so long or not been put in here at All. I was doing good in population with treatment and therapeutic programs I was in. I was getting Medication for my mental illnesses. I was under Mental Health Care while I was in population. I believe I could have been a productive and successful in my life If I would have been allowed to stay in population I wanted to get GED, get a vocational trade in computers and get college courses. Instead I was denied all that in Ad Seg. I know being locked up in a small cell in prolong isolation is extremely bad for a normal person that doesn’t suffer with mental illness, Its extremely worse for a person like me who has a History of mental illnesses before I came to prison. I can’t function normal like I once did before I came to Ad Seg when I was young. (20 yrs old) I was able to manege my depression, voises and paranoia with what the treatment program offered me. I use to be able to do more; write letters more often, do more arts & crafts, exercize, work, play games on a daily bassis. I can’t do 10% of what I use to do. At the time they were putting me in Seg I was thinking I would be able to do alot more Art work and write more often because of the extra time to myself but it was the opposite. I completely quit doing art work. I struggle to keep up with letters to the few people I write and most of the time I’m late at answereing. I noticed that other people had the same problem later on: At first I thought it was just me, but its a common effect to Most people. I still struggle to keep my cell clean and my self clean and groomed. I still try. I lose thing alot. Seg, restricked Housing, and this program I’m in, is at it’s worse I’ve ever experienced in its conditions especially this place.